Things I Changed My Mind About

I’ve always been someone with strong opinions about how my life should look. I never wanted to get married or have children. I was sure about that. But there were plenty of other things I thought I was certain about too: eating meat, the kind of work I’d do and the jobs and people I’d stick with.

Over time, those certainties became less clear. Some I’ve let go of completely; others I’ve reshaped. This Substack looks at some of the things I’ve changed my mind about, and the quieter truths that emerged once I stopped trying to be so sure.

These aren’t stories of regret or reinvention, just reflections on some minor and some very major things I’ve had a shift on and what happens when you give yourself permission to become someone new, over and over again.

Firstly, when I was 12, I gave up meat, which felt like a quiet rebellion at the time, especially since I’d been a huge chicken lover. It wasn’t about morality; I just decided I didn’t really like it, and that was that. Looking back, it was one of my first moments of making a choice purely for myself, independent of what others expected.

I definitely thought I had my career mapped out. From the age of 15, I wanted to be a journalist. I loved my first work experience at 16 and went on to do a degree in the field, and then finally landed my first paid journalism job. And I hated it. Every part of it. The grind, the office politics, the way stories were shaped, the negativity, the disillusionment of realising the dream wasn’t quite what I imagined. It was a stark reminder that sometimes what you want isn’t what will make you happy and that the path you think you’re destined for might not suit you at all.

Friendships have been a similar lesson. Some drift quietly out of your life, almost imperceptibly, while others require conscious choice to step away. Boundaries crossed, unequal effort, ongoing drama, a handful of times I have realised I had to put myself first, even if it meant letting go of people I once thought I’d be close to forever. It’s painful, yes, but also liberating. Choosing peace over conflict, self-respect over resentment, taught me that ending relationships isn’t always failure; it’s often survival.

I never thought I’d get married. I never imagined what my wedding would be like, never dreamt of prince charming, not once did I look at a wedding dress glassy-eyed and dream it would be me, and not once in my life have I tried to catch a bouquet. It wasn’t on my radar, something to aspire to, or a chapter I had planned. In fact, I didn’t give it any thought until my husband proposed, and then marriage, like much of life, arrived unplanned but somehow exactly where I was meant to be.

Parenthood was another unexpected twist. I had been adamant I’d never have children, I’ve never felt broody; the whole concept of broodiness seemed, well, still seems alien to me. I was never convinced I needed a child to complete me; in fact, if I’m honest, I’m not big on the whole baby phase. But when my husband and I decided to try for six months, it wasn’t longing that drove me; it was curiosity. That decision became the best change of mind I’ve ever made. Parenthood is messy, surprising, and transformative in ways I couldn’t have predicted, and yet it feels, somehow, exactly right.

Looking back at these moments, some small ones like giving up meat to the big ones like having a child, I see a pattern. Life isn’t about following a script. It’s about paying attention to what feels true, even if it surprises you, even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it’s nothing you ever imagined for yourself. It’s messy, yes, but it’s also entirely mine.

Life rarely goes according to plan, and that’s often its greatest gift. The choices that scared me, surprised me, or felt unplanned, the ones I made for myself, not anyone else, have shaped me more than any carefully plotted path ever could. Giving up meat, leaving a dream job, letting go of friendships, saying yes to marriage, becoming a parent—they all taught me the same thing: the best life is the one we create by trusting ourselves, even when it doesn’t look like the life we once imagined.